Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
