I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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