We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
