Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
