girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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