return my video game
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
