i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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