We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
