That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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