Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
