I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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