I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
You were trust falling into bushes
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
