It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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