All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
