he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
