You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
