using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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