And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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