to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
