Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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