Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
