Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
