Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
