I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize
