I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
