youre lurking in front of me
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
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