He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
