I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Cover your peen. We're going out.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
