im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
