I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize