you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
My brain says no but my pants say off.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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