I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i think i have herpe
just one?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize