Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Semen is not good for contacts.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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