i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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