we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
