i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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