I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
