I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I take back everything I said about communal showers
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
MIDGETS
????
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
