I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
