is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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