My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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