I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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