Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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