Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
