they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
