the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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