Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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