there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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