Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize