I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
