i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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