So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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