This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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