You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
