Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm at about main and main street
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
