it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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