I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
