I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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