i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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