you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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