god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
